What is this feeling?

butterflies in your stomach...

What is the motivation behind?

The famous inscription on the main entrance to the former concentration camp of Dachau

Ya so i have been visiting this place during the weekend. I don't really have any expectations before i went, but after the trip i start to ask myself, what is the motivation behind ppl(me) who actually visit places like this. For example, if you plan a trip to China, you will automatically go to Beijing to visit the great wall of China because they say if u never seen a section of the great wall, u have never been to China. So wat about visiting concentration camps? Why do visitors have the interest to join a tour of any concentration camps?

Well if you are expecting answers for me, technically it's juz pure curiosity that brings me to this place, i wanted to see it out of Germany's point of view since i've been to one in Poland. But if i were to ask myself about the motivation behind visiting this-sad-place, i still need time to think about it. It's such a mixture of feelings deep inside me towards mankind.

Lately, I've been dealing wif a lot of raging hormones and overwhelming mental activites. When i thought i can't stand it anymore because i magnify every single feeling and emotions and that's why it become so overwhelimg, i am reminded once again, that it is a wacky world we're living in. Why not take everything like a pinch of salt and really, for once, just learn how to let go and let God. Going without knowing - i desperately need to learn that.

False closeness

one thing i really learn during the weekend is how blessed i am to have real frens around me, whom i don need to exchange my deepest  n ugliest secrets wif but still love me as i am...

pfft... who needs a boyfriend when i can hav best friends around...

Stories from Scampen - part 1

i freaking drank a bottle of apfelschorle through a smelly sock (which happens to belong to a girl standing next to me). nuff said.

notice how everyone here only has one sock on.

after that, people were coming up to me and ask me why did i even want to do it. hmmm. why did i not think of it before gulping the whole bottle down?

So since it happen already, might as well learn sth from it.

and during Scampen, i realise one thing, that i have been in Germany for 4 years already. Before i knew it,  i m getting a tad bit older than when i first arrive and i realise how all my dreams and passion are being buried over the years because of studies and ministry and etc.

so again the question, what does drinking apfelschorle through a sock has to do with getting old?

well it make me realise that i am not as physically and mentally weak than i thought i would be. If i can survive drinking liquid through smelly socks, i can surely survive sleeping on hard cement floor in Latvia for one week! there you go, funny how a wacky game can give so much inspirations to people.

Signing off,
Pat-who-will-be-going-on-short-term-mission-trip-before-turning-25

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not the intended one posted...

i actually wanted to post sth which was running around in my head, mainly about the aftermath of the sibu by-election but then i feel like it's too much of political stuffs around (and i still want my scholarship) haha so i decided to write about sth different... no more politics... watever happens, i remain neutral... ok, maybe not... haha

n this time, it's about my recent trip to the capital of Germany, Berlin...

frankly, i din actually plan for this trip, i don even bother checking wat are the must-see-places there coz i was thinking of meeting people mostly (i juz don wan to admit tat i m simply lazy), n i m glad i met a wonderful bunch of berliners* and a big shoutout to Mr Z, the best senior in the whole world! who despite having 2 reports* to write and hand in the next week, stil brought me around visiting places n people...

during this trip, i met a girl who told me that generally germans are quite ashamed of their own history and i agreed... but that was before i took a city tour wif the coolest tour guide whose story telling skills totally blows you off n the way she presented the whole history of berlin in just a few hours of the tour make me excited even about the fact that i m actually in berlin... during my last summer trip to poland, i've learned about europe during second world war and about the uprising of the national socialist party or widely known as the nazis and their downfall... then i came back to germany not knowing what happen after tat, n this time in berlin, i relearn again the history of europe from the germany point of view...

after the second world war there's the division between east and west germany (go read urself if u r interested about this) and berlin being in east germany is again being split into east and west berlin (confusing right? then it's time to visit berlin n get it all right...) so who's the government now? west berlin then was under a jointly occupation of the 4 allied powers and east berlin under the soviet rule... then come the berlin wall who separated the whole of berlin into 2 parts overnight... basically it's a tragic! and after dunno how many years, a misleading press statement leads to the fall of the wall... how interesting could it be? berlin wall came down because of a small mistake during a press conference???!!!

ok so after the press conference, of coz ppl were all hyped out... after so many years being separated n suddenly this big boss came out n said berlin is unified again... so ppl began to march to the wall and it was so overwhelming tat the border guards decide to put down their weapons n let the ppl thru... n the day was 9th of september, 1989... who would thought that berlin is such a young city! so once again, the power of ppl overcome the authority of the east german government tat had kept them confined all these years... so i said, germans! be proud of urselves!

ok i shud stop typing n go back to my studies... ok, as u can see from my post, i look calm n smart, but i m neither both! juz realise tat i lost my second bike this year n i m not happy at all! n exams coming out in 1 month time n i m freaking out now!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg! do u sense my nervousness n restlessness n helplessness now???

***Footnotes
1*berliner in german means a lot of things, first a donut wif fillings or second, ppl who lives in berlin, and third, it also refers to the late president of usa, J.F.Kennedy

2*report in german means unending work to do, to understand this, u hav to understand that behind every report, there's sth going on, eg. a lab experiment or a research topic or a group project, n behind that is another round of preparations for either a lab or discussions and behind that is again sleepless nights or nightmares which you don understand at all coz they are all in german and behind that is a short celebration of the previous report you hav manage to put in during the very last minute and behind that is the writing of the report n the process continue EVERY damn semester... ok u get the rough idea of wat a report is now...